I am having one of those days where everything irritates me, so much so that I want to do a Dr Bruce Banner and ‘Hulk SMASH’ every minor obstacle.
PRs not getting back to me? SMASH!
Finding out a horrible thing about an ex on Twitter, of all places? Oversharing SMASH!
Wireless keyboard breaking down mid-post and having to use the mother’s dinky laptop instead? DOUBLE SMASH!
Chris Brown’s latest tirade of misogynistic abuse against a woman he’s never met, again on Twitter? SMASH! SMASH ALL OF THE THINGS!
I knew I was getting a bit too worked up when I read about F. Scott Fitzgerald lifting parts from his wife’s diary (in the excellent ‘Zelda’ by Nancy Milford) and spent a good fifteen minutes wishing to SMASH! Sarah SMASH! Fitzgerald’s plagiarism and flagrant disrespect of his wife’s privacy! SMASH! To be honest though, I think Scott and Zelda probably put each other through enough without me ripping off my stretchy vest Hulk Hogan-style and demanding to be tag teamed into one of their brawls.
When I get worked up like this, I am at least thankful that I’m not passive aggressive. Not like SOME people I could mention…*
When I’m done congratulating myself on that, I like to look at pictures of nice, usually unattainable things. This is my calming, life-saving fantasy Christmas wishlist.
Mape Petite Black jacket from Acne
But I’ll settle for… A copy of Acne Paper
The ‘Edie’ gift set from Nars’ Andy Warhol Collection. It comes in a film canister!
But I’ll settle for… Kate Moss for Rimmel Matte Lipstick in 113 (an Edie-ish nude shade)
A trip to Thailand to hang out with my friend Nicola
But I’ll settle for… A Thai green curry and a well-timed Facebook chat.