Licentiate Columns

Licentiate Column 28/10/10

>I have a problem with Hallowe’en dressing.  Actually no, I don’t have a problem with the dressing up itself.  Thinking up a character is fun.  Sewing, constructing and arranging a costume is also fun.  Even just wandering into a costume shop and having a pervy window shop is fun.  Getting out into the crisp, chilly Hallowe’en night to discover that you are the only female Einstein in a horde of Playboy bunnies – that is not fun.  That I have a problem with.


If you’ve seen Tina Fey-scripted comedy Mean Girls (and if you’re under thirty-five and dress up every Hallowe’en than you almost definitely have) you’ll feel a twang of recognition when Lindsay Lohan says, blissfully oblivious to the fact that her life would turn into some sort of eternal Ghost Train, that “Hallowe’en is the one night a year when girls can dress like total sluts and no other girls can say anything about it”.
There’s no point in deriding girls who want to dress up in their underwear because that’s their prerogative.  It’s Hallowe’en, so it’s a-ok. Some sexy costumes (like 60’s era Catwoman, for example) look, well, they look hot.  Very hot.  And very cool – it’s near impossible to pull off hot and cool at the same time. Some women feel liberated by slipping on something alluring that they would never normally dream of wearing, even inside the bedroom.  Deliverance from the shackles of sexual oppression and added shock factor?  Why, that may just be the perfect costume, in my humble opinion.
The problem is the sheer lack of imagination that is displayed by wandering into a costume shop and buying a costume in a squeaky plastic bag.  Surely that sucks all the fun out of the one day a year where adults are fully justified in acting like children, albeit children who get to drink alcohol, stay out all night and then shriek loudly outside my apartment window on their way home (come to think of it, that’s probably an accurate description of the children who haunt my neighbourhood).  Why buy a mass-produced costume when Hallowe’en is such a personal event?  You could dress like anyone in the world, alive or dead, real or imaginary.  Why waste that on being one of fifty sexy policewoman, like a page in a Where’s Wally book gone dreadfully, dreadfully wrong?
The options for women who want to buy and not make costumes are thin on the ground for those who have the singular criteria of not baring their arse.  These costumes often bear the moniker ‘sexy’ but in truth it’s not – you’ll never see a sexy leprechaun in FHM or Playboy.  Polyester cut-out jumpsuits aren’t really that sexy for anyone but hormonal pubescents.  Costume distributors seem to think that anything can be sexy across the spectrum from animal to vegetable – literally. 
While online I found a sexy straightjacket (sans trousers), a sexy Smurfette (with a jaunty-looking silly hat), a sexy Martini (with olives as bra cups, but of course), a sexy coral fish (ok…), sexy Ms Potato Head (slightly disturbing) and a sexy Elmo, which, if anything looked like a tiny fur jacket made from a freshly-skinned Muppet.
Maybe we’re all missing the point here.  The spirit of Christmas isn’t in the presents, just as the spirit of Hallowe’en isn’t in the costumes.  The true essence of Hallowe’en is the food, the tremendous glops of candied popcorn, jellies, chocolate coins and hallmarks of general overindulgence – yet another good reason to forgo the sexiness and just be another version of yourself at Hallowe’en.

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15 thoughts on “Licentiate Column 28/10/10

  1. >fantastic post, i think every girl i know loves that mean girls scene..summed up every school halloween parties where i distinctly remember a 17 year old dressed as a (child) bride in white underwear.the sexy costumes you found online are truly hilarious!xo

  2. >Love it, you're spot on girl :)If I could see just a few less "sexy" costumes tho, I'd be happier…personally my favorite costume is regular clothes, then I tell everybody I'm dressed up as an undercover Supergirl and ask them to pass the toffee popcorn and the beer XDHappy Hallowe'en! :D

  3. >I agree that some imagination can be lost with 'sexy' costumes and that it is possible to do sexy with creative. One girl I knew went as Harlequin from Batman and it was such an alluring costume. Very, very sexy but weird, fun and imaginative at the same time.It's very interesting to see the difference between the costumes with effort and the numerous hordes of 'sexy devil' costumes, which are basically red horns, a red bra and a short skirt. But I suppose, it's whatever people will have fun in.

  4. >Love it! Great post. To be honest I feel very uneasy surrounded by drunken half – dressed women in uniform and cartoon characters on Halloween. Way too many bums to be seen for my liking!

  5. >All the slutty dressing has diminished the fun for me!A stunningly gorgeous friend turned up as Noddy once complete with big pointy ears, baggy trousers and comedy shoes, she was hilarious and it was probably the least flattering costume but she still looked so damned cute! x

  6. >Great post! I have to say I love Halloween and fancy dress parties – for me it's all about the make up tho! I love being able to be a bit more creative with colours and fake lashes!x

  7. >the amount of girls i saw on sat and sun night in micro mini's and suspenders was irritating, along with the sexy police outfits, the sexy fairy outfits, the sexy bunny ones, the sexy pirate ones….GAAAAH!! jesus, no imagination whats so ever!! i dont get it!i saw one girl dressed as a geisha and she looked fab, and quite sexy, without the use of SUSPENDERS!!glad i got that off my chest. great post! .x.

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