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Since I was a child I had a morbid obsession with the tuba, specifically it’s rumbling bass tones. What can I say, it moved me.
So, with the current vogue for leather shorts and the bass obsession, I should probably join a Teutonic Oompah band. Or maybe just buy some vintage lederhosen. Like the pair below.
There’s a method to this though. The leather shorts I find in the shop are poofy around the hips and quite a lot have gathered waists and broad, voluminous turn-ups or perforated motifs. This will look suitably amazing on Alexa Chung, but I’m five foot nothing with a biggish bum. Buying vintage boys clothes means that the hips are narrower, ergo slightly slimmer arse and a silhouette that looks more like actual shorts and less like I’ve stepped into an extra-durable binbag stretched with starch. This pair is also nice and worn, so I won’t actually look like I’m in an oompah band (more’s the pity)
Here’s a bonus track for you. I’m going to listen to it with a stein of Weissbier.
P.S The new Licentiate column for The Cork Independent can be read here.
>Love these shorts, what a wicked idea! I haven't tried any leather shorts on yet, no looking forward to it either as I have a sticky-out-bum and so the hem will slant upwards at the back and oh good lord nah…Not too fussed by the tuba in general, but that song from Oliver! is very sing-along-a-musical. Oom pa pa, Oom pa pa, that's 'ow it goes. Oom pa pa, Oom pa pa, everyone knows…and so on.
>leather shorts will look awful on me but i want some!! i will have nothing to wear them with and no where to wear them apart from popping to tesco, but i want want want x